Information[]
The Evil News Network is basically the cheapo name for the broadcast played at 4:38 AM every day at Joeschool. Joe is the announcer and Mr. Wise is usually also present.
Example Broadcast[]
Joe: Awful morning, and welcome to the Evil News Network.
Mr. Wise: Beware of traps!
(Joeguard pushes Mr. Wise away)
Joe: Today the low is 1 degree and the high is 2 degrees.
Mr. Wise: Beware of traps!
(Joeguard shoves Mr. Wise again)
Joe: Today is the last day turning in application forms for this year's Fall Play: Evil People Are Evil.
Mr. Wise: Beware of traps!
Joeguard: Be quiet.
Joe: I have received reports about politeness and walking in the halls. If I see this, it will result in detention.
Mr. Wise: Beware of traps!
Joeguard: SHUT UP!!!!!!
Joe: Don't forget to turn in your inators today. The prize for best inator today is... a stinky sock!
(fake applause)
Mr. Wise: Beware of traps!
(Joeguard seen throwing Mr. Wise at wall.)
Joe: We would also like to announce some people caught being bad (evil):
- Jim for hitting a fellow student in the face, and
- Jackson for breaking just about every school rule.
Mr. Wise: Beware of traps!
(Joeguard smacks him)
Joe: Now that's what I call evil.
Mr. Wise: Beware of traps!
(Loud bang is heard)
Joe: You're welcome for tuning in to the Evil News Network. Have a Terrible Tuesday.
Mr. Wise: Beware of traps!
(stabbing sounds are heard)
Joeguard: Just die already!
(end of Evil News Network Example Broadcast)