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InformationEdit

The history of the Joecalculator is a rich and fruitful one, as you will soon discover. Its official name is the Calculatorinator, but not even Joe himself calls it that.

Model JI-0Edit

The first Joecalculator, invented by Joe in 1998, was dubbed the Model JI-0. It had no buttons and no screen. In fact, it was essentially a plastic paperweight, but it was advertised as a calculator anyway. Not long afterwards, Joe stole the patent from himself to build the next version because this version was practically useless and all the sold copies were being burned by common folk to keep warm during the especially terrible nuclear winter.

Fun fact: The Model JI-0 is the common ancestor of the Model JI-1 and the 1946 phony phone.

Model JI-1Edit

The next version was released in early 1999. It featured the wholesome promise of three buttons (gasp) and a screen (double gasp). Effectively, this allowed buyers to add zero to zero as many times as they liked... or in this case, disliked, because the new model was still being used as fire supplement. Joe, horrified by this behavior, infringed on his own patent again and built a yet newer calculator.

Model JI-1+1Edit

Since Joe was not very proficient in math at the time (and still isn't), he took five years to uncover the inner laden mysteries of the number 1 (which summits at what it means to add one to zero). Its spontaneous shelving in 2004 turned a number of heads. Now, Joe thought, now they would use the calculator to its fullest. Unfortunately, Joe had not properly tested what happens when adding one to one, and this always resulted in the combustion of the calculator, since in its extensive answer library it could not find such a complex entity as two. Immediately (or as immediately as can be expected from Joe), Joe began to look deeper into number theory. Little did he know he would be opening himself up to a world of nonstop numerals...

Model JI-2Edit

The newest model to date, known as JI-2 (even though there was already a JI-1+1 and technically this is the fourth model), came to Cheapstores in 2014. It featured the possible answer of two, but the problem remained obvious: there were two more holes in the programming where two plus one and two plus two should be. Joe is back to work on inventing new numbers... how long will it take before he realizes his mistake? Tune in next time, whenever that is.

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