The Joe Unchinese New Year Clender is a calendar divided into 13 different sections, to represent a 13 year cycle. 2015 is the year of the Circle. There is an annula celebration based on what symbol the current year depicts. The Joe Unchinese New Year Clender is probably the most accurate timekeeping device ever made by Joe.
The Year of JoeEdit
The celebration for the Year of Joe is basically when everyone is required to throw a party for Joe, and Joe will go around to random houses to attend. If Joe doesn't attend your party, you are very lucky. Joe will open the presents you got for him, and if he doesn't like it, he wil shoot you, and if he does like it, he will shoot you anyway.
The celebration of the Year of the Meniverse is where you are required to do something to pollute the atmosphere or any other natrual resource. Joe patrols to make sure an adequate amount of pollution is being produced.
The Year of the CircleEdit
Joe is terrible at drawing circles, and the celebration is a gathering where Joe sits in a chair on a stage and draws a circle, and then everyone else must also draw a circle, and if your circle is better than Joe's, he shoots you for being superior, and if it is worse, he shoots you for being inferior. The ideal thing to do is watch Joe draw his circle and carefully copy what Joe draws. Joe will be unable to shoot you and you will survive that year.
The Year of the GunEdit
Joe goes around shooting people with a variety of guns. If you die, Joe shoots you. If you survive, Joe shoots you anyway. The best thing to do is just stay inside and hope Joe doesn't barge into your house specifically.
The Year of the JoelphabetEdit
Everyone is required to turn in a sheet of paper with the entire Joelphabet on it, which is only nine letters long. If you get anything incorrect, Joe shoots you. The best thing to do is to turn in a paper without a name on it. Everyone else will do the same thing. Joe will assume everyone turned in a correct paper.
The Year of The NonexistentEdit
This part of the cycle doesn't exist and is never celebrated.
The Year of The Empty SpaceEdit
This part of the cycle is not celebrated, since the last time it was celebrated, someone (Joe) divided by zero and almost everyone died.
The Year of the Dead GuyEdit
Joe ritualistically kills someone, anyone, really. This is the second calmest of all the celebrations.
Year of The Joe Unchinese New Year ClenderEdit
People praise the Joe Unchinese New Year Clender for being so accurate. Joe shoots anyone who is not praising it.
The Year of the Nuclear WeaponEdit
Joe releases a barrage of nuclear weapons all over the Meniverse. Since Joe cannot adequately power that many nuclear weapons, they usually all land in District 2 and the fallout clouds drift elsewhere.
The Year of the JoefruitEdit
People are required to line up to get a Joefruit from Joe. Only ten people need to line up because Joe can't count.
The Year of The AntidollarEdit
Joe prints lots of negative money and puts it into circulation. The value of the Medollar goes down again.
The Year of The PollutionEdit
Everyone must undertake the tredecannual pollution harvest, which they give to Joe and then Joe releases it in a massive cloud. There is acid rain for many days following that.
Everyone must submit an inator idea to Joe. Joe will put all of them in a few boxes and randomly burn all of them except for one. Then Joe will randomly burn all the paper from the box he didn't burn. Then Joe will think of an inator idea himself. Joe is too stupid to realize that all the inator ideas are really good and could probably last 13 years, until the next time it's the year of the Inator again.